Narda Reid
- Oct 27, 2023
- 4 min read

The"Second Kiss"Pt 2

Updated: Nov 4, 2023

Dive into our monthly Relationship blog and find something to encourage couples to stay committed...

“...That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; Not in the lust of concupiscence (unlawful sexual desires)...” 1 Thessalonians 4:5

Hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to read my blogs and for all the great feedback given over time. This blog is the follow-up to The "Second Kiss "Pt 1, which I had to curtail because of some feedback that many of you couldn't open the link. In this section, I will endeavor to share my take regarding a very sensitive topic in marriages everywhere.

In my humble opinion:

Women: If he is still cheating on you. Then I understand your withholding because STDs and other detrimental diseases are a reality. But if you decide that you want the marriage. You cannot have it both ways. You cannot withhold sexual intimacy, using it as a weapon, to manipulate your husband whenever you want to coerce him to fall into your line of thinking. It doesn't work. If you only want a plaything, then by all means keep on doing so, but at the risk of truly wrecking your marriage. If he is finally coming around, the worst thing you can do is to starve him sexually.

Secondly, as much as the "feminine movement" has sought to dethrone and castrate men's masculinity and their role as heads of homes, God counsels wives (and those preparing to be wives) to respect and obey (be in subjection) to their husbands who treat them as Christ would. It is Never cool to disrespect a man with words or deeds... when their honor as a man is ripped to threads or tested, especially in front of others, darkness tends to fill the soul and evil may awake violence within that may lead to abuse and even murder. Yet Christ advises that if women understand how to be virtuous (Proverbs 31), Sometimes even the worst husband can be won by the inner beauty of a godly wife when his heart is softened by the wooing of the Holy Spirit working through her graceful tongue. I Peter 3:1-2.

Men and Women: For both the man and the woman in a marital setting, God provided lovemaking to be the deepest and most pleasurable expression of love without saying words. For both, it is the deepest expression of an " I love you", filled with hope, trust, vulnerability, joy, promise, and oneness. Nothing else renews the covenant of togetherness as this "second kiss" of the bodies, that promises that today will be our forever, and tomorrow we will be still together. " You are still the one I love and I choose to be faithful and committed only to you." The Lord gave a passage of counsel and, if embraced and followed, will save many a marriage:

The husband should fulfill his marital duty (due benevolence) to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband... Do not deprive (defraud, cheat) each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may take time to pray...reflect, and come to your senses. Then come together again ( put down your pride, job, busyness) and enjoy each other intimately and emotionally so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3, 5). ( See KJV, strong language).

Men: Stop cheating. When she cheats, she may crush your ego... you may feel betrayed, but usually, you move on to another ... When you cheat you may crush her entire spirit. You may snuff out her trust like a candle flame on its wick. She may lose herself and die a slow emotional death because she has already given you everything within her and unlike most of you, it will take a superhuman effort for her to trust another man again. Contrary to popular beliefs, this doesn't make you "the man". God disapproves of the cruel disregard of the "weaker, more delicate vessel". "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered [repelled]." 1 Peter 3:7

If any couple is going through this presently, pray TOGETHER... seek therapy TOGETHER... humble yourselves TOGETHER. Don't sabotage your marriage because of your pride and selfishness. Humble yourselves as a couple and return to the one who alone can help you. Come, and let us return unto the LORD: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.

Hosea 6:1. Leave everyone else out of the council unless they are mentors who have a good marriage... who are objective. Find those who have possibly weathered the storm of adultery and abuse. Avoid all who are still bitter about their failed relationship(s) because the quip that "misery loves company" is absolutely true.

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification (sexual purity, faithfulness) and honor; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God [do]...

I Thessalonians 4:3-5.

Do you want someone to pray with you or talk with you during a difficult time... email me at info@nardapella.com or click the below link: https://www.nardapella.com/bible-studies. Our team is ready...