Being Patient in Our Dearest Relationships, especially with Our Spouses and Children Despite Poor Results
Tears ran down Sandra's face as she pondered the words of someone dear:
"This has been a terrible week and it is all because of you. You are a dictator. It has to be your way or no way. You are making me want to walk away from church because you are so controlling. You keep treating me as a child. You don't listen. I don't get to do all the things I love doing; I get to do 20% of the things I love and you get to do 90% and I am so unhappy."
Imagine if similar words were spoken to you by one or more of your children. Surely they would be piercing daggers in your heart. Perhaps as those words struck your mind and soul, your heart may have shattered into a thousand pieces. How do you please someone you have sacrificed your entire life to love, nurture, serve, and protect? Why go on the attack because I ask for a deeper commitment to God?
As a parent, it must be hard to hear the voice of one from whom you want respect and to reciprocate your love and selfless sacrifice, throw stones of such weight that they crush your spirit and suck all the oxygen from your body. What? Where did this surprise attack come from? What did you do to deserve this lethal accusation when you had only good intentions? You have tried to buffer their pain, despite giving your all...despite no major shifts or gain...possibly never?....
Did you not work tirelessly to put a roof over your child's head? What about making sure all material needs were supplied? Hopefully, the quality time spent to nurture positive mental and physical health and wholistic security? What more could you have done for your child(ren) that you have not done? Perhaps, you can relate? What if it was your spouse or significant other hurling such vitriolic, bitter words at you? What would be your reaction? How should you handle this outburst? Can you relate?
Christ can. He asked a very similar question many many years ago. In the days of the prophet Isaiah, the LORD queried sadly:
“What could have been done more to my vineyard, that I have not done in it? wherefore, when I looked that it should bring forth grapes, brought it forth wild grapes?”
Isaiah 5:4
The Backdrop of the Story
1 My wellbeloved hath a vineyard in a very fruitful hill: 2 And he fenced it, and gathered out the stones thereof, and planted it with the choicest vine, and built a tower in the midst of it, and also made a winepress therein: and he looked that it should bring forth grapes, and it brought forth wild grapes.
Isaiah 5:1-2
This simple parable is loaded with so many takeaways! I remember when I was young in the church, and in faith, someone gave me a very powerful book to read. This book was filled with proverbs, wise counsels, and life lessons. The name of the book was Christ Object Lessons. I couldn't get enough of it! The commentary and simple wisdom that was connected to the Bible gave me much hope and healing. Things that were hard to understand when I was a child and early teen became crystal clear!
In this prophetic commentary from Christ Object Lesson on this parable, I want you to download some valuable gems:
"The husbandman chooses a piece of land from the wilderness; he fences, clears, and tills it, and plants it with choice vines, expecting a rich harvest. This plot of ground, in its superiority to the uncultivated waste, he expects to do him honor by showing the results of his care and toil in its cultivation. So God had chosen a people from the world to be trained and educated by Christ." Christ Object Lesson, page 285, paragraph 1. But Israel did not fulfill God's purpose.
God leaves no doubt as to the subjects of the parable. Isaiah lays it out as a lawyer with irrefutable evidence: “The vineyard of the Lord of hosts is the house of Israel, and the men of Judah His pleasant plant.” Isaiah 5:7. Yet much like a spouse or a child(ren), Israel wanted to have its cake and eat it too. A child or a spouse or significant other may desire the title and the privileges that the relationship affords, but not the deeper reciprocation that is expected for the bond of unity to be at its optimum best. This was the same attitude that Israel flaunted. Like the child of the parent above, they would rather live a life of disobedience 90% of the time while causing God 100% sadness, as long as he/ or she is happy.
As a parent; a lover within a marriage; a sweetheart in a committed relationship or even a best friend in a friendship, you may relate to the following verses:
And now, O inhabitants of Jerusalem, and men of Judah, judge, I pray you, betwixt me and my vineyard. Isaiah 5:3
In our modern terms we probably would say..." Who could blame me for kicking you out of the house; divorcing you; leaving you; and ending our friendship?
“What could have been done more to my vineyard, that I have not done in it?
Isaiah 5:4
But God though justified in asking this question... extended grace again and again...
Prayer
God you gave your all in that season... despite nothing... no major shifts or gain...Yet you pulled out a few more acts of mercy... in trying to save your "children". What an example for us to follow. May we continue to be patient in our dearest relationships, and continue giving all... despite nothing...Yet! May we not lean on our own understandings in solving our problems or relationships, but listen keenly to your will so as not to close doors that should stay open because our pride has been hurt. Amen.
Join me next time or Subscribe for the early release of "What a Waste!"
Previous Blog by this writer:
(click link to enjoy)
Taste. Enjoy! Respond. Like! Share. Be encouraged!
To learn more about Narda Pella click on the logo and it will take you to our home page.
Lord, may we be good workers in your Vinyard and plant only good seeds and nurture it till we cultivate good returns for your glory. Help us not to be complainers and lean unto our own understanding and be prideful in all our ways to cause us to lead down the wrong path. Keen our eyes on the pathways only to victory in Christ Jesus amen 🙏.